Yesterday I lost the love of my life. My beloved boyfriend Johnathan Thornsberry passed away suddenly following a seizure. I was in a doctor's appointment and he was sitting in the passenger seat of our PT Cruiser waiting for me, because of Covid restrictions. When I came out I found him slumped over with his face down in the driver's seat. I tried to wake him, but he had fluid coming out of his mouth. I panicked and screamed for help. A bystander went into the building to get help. A bunch of doctors came out and pulled him out of the car. His lips were blue :'(. They tried to revive him, and an ambulance was called. They took him to the hospital and a nice lady from the doctor's office drove me to the hospital in the Cruiser because I was in no fit state to drive.
I waited for several long minutes before some doctors came in and told me he'd died. He'd suffered a seizure and had fallen in such a way that restricted his breath, and died from suffocation. He'd had these seizures since the age of 17 when he'd been in a bad car crash. I was usually the one to help him through the seizures, but this time I wasn't there.
He was 34 years old.
I don't know what to do. My brother wants me to move in with him, and I'm seriously considering doing so. Johnathan and I were planning to buy the house we'd been renting and were excited to become homeowners. Now he's gone and I don't want to live in this house by myself. This was my worst fear. Losing him. I have no income because I'm disabled and haven't been able to get SSI. I've been trying for 3 years to get on SSI and keep getting rejected. My heart is shattered and I just...can't stop crying.
I can't breathe properly without him. He was my heart. He told me every single day how much he loved me and how awesome I am. He'd brag about me to his friends and family. He kept telling me that I needed to keep fighting for SSI and that I'd never become a burden to him. He was my person. I just can't believe it.
I'm Back!
I got a new laptop today! 
Just lettin ya know.
What's happened to Deviant Art!?
They've changed everything! O_O
Hypocrisy of Adults
).